I have perfect view because the social seating chart rarely changes. All Lily has to do is not grow vertically. Any other direction is fine by me.
She collects her lunch. A plate of fries just enough to pass for an adequate meal. A plate of fries I know she will never eat. The entire cafeteria is too engulfed in busy conversation to notice. What was that about the party last night?
Maybe she’ll tell me her secret. I wonder which diet she's on. Just a month ago I swear she looked the same and 20 kilos heavier. How does she do that?
The girl walks across the room, her torso slinging from side to side, bangs swinging like curtains to her face. Ohmigod, her jaw’s never done that before! I touch my chin and sigh. Tell-tale signs of a multi-layered epidemic. What is her name again?
Oh right,
She chooses to sit at the corner table behind the group of students deeply engaged in their textbooks. Reaching for the ketchup bottle, she drowns her fries. Maybe that’s what I should be eating. NOT.
Smile. Just as I thought. There she goes again paddling the bloody mess with a sole yellow fry. It’s all a setup so nobody knows what’s going on. She’s lost in her little whirlpool. Who would’ve thought the nerdy little misfit could come up with the winning fat loss program? And she thinks she can get away with it.
I shift in my seat. Anything to keep
I frown. She’s leaving. One, two, three, four, five, six steps to the bin. Lunch tray, contents all accounted for, down the chute. Another six shuffles toward the door and I’m out of my seat. The party can wait.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just around the corner then it’ll be over. Well done, good show.
“Hey!”
Fuck someone’s coming.
“Hey you!”
Go away. Go away!
“You!
Big grin, big boobs. What the fuck does she want?
“Sandra.”
“Hi! I’m Jean. We’re not from the same class. You might know my friend Sharon?”
Woo! My lucky day. Princess Clone 1 speaks.
And silence. Fuck. What is she waiting for? Come on. Dish it up. Insult of The Day. I can take it.
“Listen. I was just.. well, how do you manage to lose so much weight?”
Are you kidding me!
“Wait! Do you think you could maybe.. you know, tell me? What is it? Atkins? No? Ok. I actually tried that one and well.. obviously that didn’t work.”
Shut the fuck up. Where is that toilet when you need one?
“Is it
Boy. Girl. Heaven. Damn this door.. is.. heavy.
“How about low carb? That worked for
“Do you mind? I need to get in.”
“Oh, sorry. I’ll just wait here”.
Whatever.
“Maybe we can talk sometimes? Not like, in the hallways and stuff. Maybe after school? We can grab a drink or something. There’s this cute little place nobody knows about. You know noisy crowds are not my thing… ”
Right.
“Oh I’m not saying you don’t like them, I mean you can of course. I’m just saying you know.. how bout some quiet time just us two girls chillin’ out…”
Think Sandra… concen..trate.
“We can swap recipes. I know this fabulous shake. It’s just 3 times a day. I swear to you I lost like, 4 whole kilos in a week…”
Must… hold.. it.. down.
“Oh I know. You’re thinking ‘she must be joking!’ Of course, we can do it your way. I must say, your thighs are like, absolutely perfect. Do you do exercise? What am I saying? Of course you do. I try about 5 times a week to the gym. Sometimes more. Lily thinks swimming does it better. Why, just last week she had the nerve –“
“Hey.”
“Yes?”
“You want to know how it’s done?”
“R-Really? You’ll tell me?” Sick. Sickly sweet.
“Listen carefully.”
And I let it all out. Wave after wave of nothingness crashing into the still water below. I heave several breaths of relief and send my secret swirling down the drain.
Drip. Drip.
Drawing the back of my hand across the corners of my mouth, I sit on the floor, listening to the stunned silence on the other side of the cubicle door.
