Hollow in the Heart

As most Mirians would be aware of, there has been a horrifying case of rape and murder recently.
The girl named Tiffany Wong, a recent graduate from St. Joseph Miri met with death by the hands of her friend. In my opinion, this was a case of intentional murder and that is what's terrifying. Along with the emotional repercussions of the case, another point of interest was the motive and the intention of the alleged (and anyone from home would argue 'definite') murderer.

From rumous and news reports we have gathered:  
a) He was a childhood friend (point of interest: how close were they really? had they been friends all along? case in point: it appears that swhe had wished him a happy birthday sometime in November last year. However, assuming that we have a different mentality as to what friendship is, she seems to be an individual (based on age, the number of FB friends she has, and the number of pictures she takes) who is likely to wish anyone within relative close proximity (let's narrow this down to secondary school friends including seniors and juniors, as well as primary school friends who have gone on to the same secondary school which includes the alleged murderer). Was he a part of her group of friends or merely an acquaintance that she knew since childhood? As I'm considering this point, I'm thinking about the numerous people I know from childhood and have been in the same school but only consider as acquaintances and not "friend".)

b) They have mutual friends (Based on comments on FB, 3rd degree association - "I know that guy too." (knowing both the victim and the prepetrator as members of the same school), 2nd degree association - "He is another friend" (being friends with both victim and prepetrator). At this point, we may establish that they share at best a cordial relationship, or have mutual friends within the same class/school.

c) He had a crush on her that was never reciprocated. (Missing information: Had he perhaps professed his love to her prior and was rejected? Or was this one of those instances where it is unrequitted because he's never had the cojones to do anything? Was he out of her league? Again, based on the number of friends he has (99- before the account was deactivated, present - probably none), compared to the number she had (1095), it would seem that she was Miss cheery and popular, while he remains relatively in the background.

d) She was going to meet a friend who had her result slip OR she was going to school to collect her result slip
(i) If she was going to meet a friend who had her result slip because her father wanted to see it (again, info gathered from various forums)
Points of interest:
did the friend know she was going to get a ride from the guy? if so, she would have clued the parents in as to her whereabouts
why was her result slip with her friend? and if so, did the school release her results to her friend, are they allowed to do that? (just curious) OR she gathered her results and left it with her friend (why though? had she forgotten? or were her results less than desirable for parental viewing? it appears that she scored 4As, which is better than what I did, but then again, I wasn't at home to face the warth of my parents when they found out)
(ii) If she was going to school to collect her result slip, did she call the guy to pick her up? if not, how did he just magically show up at her place to offer her a ride? At this point, perhaps we can establish that they had been exchanging text messages, so what does that tell us about their friendship? probably closer than just a cordial friendship re: back to point (b), or she's just a super friendly girl

e) She had willingly gotten into his car, witnessed by mother. Again, none of her friends could attest to knowing a mutual friend owning a grey Waja/Toyota (hate newspapers and confusing facts). So what can we deduce from this? He DOES not run in her circle of friends/it's a car they've never seen him drive before, in which case, he must have done some planning to ensure that he couldn't be traced/identified, but for what? maybe not murder, but certainly having the purpose to do something untoward to this poor girl.

f) Her mother did not know who she was going out with, or who she was meeting. This is presumably (as is the case nowadays) due to current casual parental attitudes and the sheer number of casual friendships young people seem to have nowadays. Your parents won't know all your friends, and they do not bother to ask you where you are and what you're doing. We could perhaps assume that (i) she's a good girl who doesn't need monitoring, (ii) being in Miri gives us a false sense of security as to its surroundings and the character of the people, (iii) her parents do not know about her activities which seem to include at least on ONE occasion getting drunk to the extent that as one friend put it "kiss her till she also don't know", and "singing k till midnight". At this point I'd like to thank my father for calling me at the age of 25, while in Miri, when I'm not back by 12am, after only being out at 8pm and questioning me incessantly if I head out after 9pm.

I put to the public that 
a) He drove her away, intending to perhaps declare his love for her, and most certainly elicit some kind of sexual favour from her
b) The best case scenario for him is that she would agree, and then they would begin a relationship.
c) The girl does not seem like someone who WOULD consent to any sexual favours, because
(i) She appears to be a decent girl (tell me if I'm overestimating her integrity just by deducing from her pictures and statements from her friends, although I may be biased towards band members)
(ii) It seems that she has a boyfriend and he looks to be a decent guy too (again speculation)
d) So if he drove her out with the intention of currying sexual favour, knowing these points about her (being her friend), how did he guesstimate his chances of succeeding to be? Surely none or remotely close to that? 

Therefore, assuming that he knew he had less than a 5% chance of succeeding, did he not think what he was going to do to keep her from ratting on him? Unless he was clearly the brainless imbecile people are making him out to be, then the probable chances of her coming out alive from this from the moment he offered her a ride was close to none. Doesn't this then, make it premeditative murder?

To put it simply, here are possible thoughts:
"I'll tell her I love her, have sex with her, we live happily ever after"
"I'll tell her I love her, ask her if she'll have sex with me, and if she says no we'll just let it be without anyone knowing"
"I'll tell her I love her, ask her if she'll have sex with me, and if she says no I'll let her go and don't mind if she tells the world what I just asked her"
"I'll tell her I love her, force her to have sex with me, then let her go and hope she won't tell"
"I'll tell her I love her, force her to have sex with me, then let her go so she can tell the world"
"I'll tell her I love her, force her to have sex with me, kill her so that she doesn't tell"

Which of these seem likely to you?

Safety is of the essence
Because there is relatively nothing we can do once we step into a car belonging to the person who intends to kill us, what other safety precautions can we take BEFORE we make that decision?
1) Tell your parents where you're going and who you're out with
2) Let your friends know at the very least
3) Do not trust anyone beyond your circle of closest friends
4) Your classmate who says hi to you is NOT your 'close friend'
5) Do not assume your childhood friend who you've seen in waist-line pants and pigtails remain the same
6) Make sure you have trusted people on speed dial
7) Do not go to any remote areas with guy friends
8) Better still, if you seriously do not know the guy well AND he has a girlfriend and offers you a ride, say NO, or bring a girl friend along.
9) NO ONE is decent by association, just because he's your bestfriend's boyfriend or good friend or whatever friend does not make it safe, so don't get in.

To be honest, if a guy asked me for a sexual favour I'd rather grab his steering wheel and risk having the both of us perish in an accident than having him try to rape me or murder me after. The saddest thing is, she COULDN'T have known his intentions. But now that this has happened in non-happening Miri, everyone (I don't discount guys) should keep these motives in mind. Remember, anyone who dares to even ask cannot be trusted. I don't care if "it's mens' nature, they can't help themselves" as some people put it on the forums. We are all capable of self-control so that's bullshit. 

NEXT!!

Work. All work and no play makes Jack, Jill and Humpty Dumpty dull. I'm just thinking, hey, I would like to remember what my first official day (according to the contract, that is) was like. When I look back 30 years from now on my retirement day, I want to remember everything - not knowing anything, feeling nervous and a tad bit scared but surprisingly non-heart thumping experience. This marks my first day of taking responsibility, real accountability for my work and my actions, and most importantly the first day of what I hope to be of some contribution to this field.

Almost immediately I'm taken by the relaxed atmosphere of the place. No one seems to be in a hurry and that's a strange feeling for me. No stress, no pressure - easy transition to the workplace. Is this some kind of trick? Where's the crisis? Where's the action?' I thought to myself. I wanted to jump in immediately! Rearing to go after almost a year's hiatus from psychology!

Pause.

I reminded myself. No brash decisions, no quick judgments, keep your mind open to the experience and equip yourself with the time and resources given before you're ready to execute informed actions. There is a lot to learn, and a lot of questions to ask. And of course, there is the people. Respect, integrity and responsibility. I got to know a few clients today. Open your eyes, ears and heart. Don't be blinded by the illness, look at the effort. Never just hear; listen. Don't just read the history, notes and files; ask for thoughts, emotions and strengths.

When I look back one day, I wanted to know that I remembered to practice these principles and know that I upheld them as best as I could from the first day.

Next stage of life, Helen. Stand up tall and take in everything. It's the beginning of what you've always wanted. Pat on the back for making it happen. And now? Go do what's meant for you and love it :)

Age is Just Another Painful Number

Growing old alone ain't easy. I'm sure you'll agree with me. I have yet to file the papers for Spinstership Society, but I have the documents handy. Thank God for friends and family :)

I got my first card from Meng Yee. It was sitting in my mailbox 5 days before the big day.

On the Saturday before, Tsu Ann, Chand and I had dimsum. It was a busy week for them - anyone who has watched "Tails" would agree that it was worth it!

Chand and I outside West Lake.

The celebration came, as always, in the form of a simple dinner :) This year, at Oriental Spoon.

Group picture

Vanilla Sponge Cake with errr.. chocolate, chocolate liquor, um.. pastry bits, etc. :P

One of the reasons why this year is special is because of Emily :) This would be 5 years since I last celebrated my birthday with her. Emily is one of my oldest ever :) Since we were... Primary 3? It was (is, she's still here!) great to have a good friend by your side on a memorable day :)

Emily half way around the world from Nottingham :)

With Em, Sab and Yen Khai :)

Melissa and Rosanne

No birthday is complete without the cousin :P

Colin and girl friend Siew Joo

Gracing us with his ultimate soikuanness :P

Then there's dep zhai August.

Wouldn't let me cut the cake in peace!

August and girlfriend Ayumi :)

And of course.. Baonie :D

Annie Susu :)

Incidentally there were 5 secondary school mates at the dinner. Did not realize this till someone (I forgot who!) pointed it out. For "old" times sake, we tried to do the jumping spontaneously photo.

I said we tried.

Finally giving up :P

Total : 222.20, Toto anyone?

The night didn't end then. Mr Qijian decided to hog my line until it was midnight, officially my birthday. LOL. So the 1st Place Birthday Wishing (Australian Time) Award went to him.

I must say, Facebook certainly makes birthdays quite interesting. I received an array of "Facebook" gifts this year.

No Fear of 22 - Fyin Chin :)

Ian was the first one to wish me on Malaysian time :) and spent 2 hours on his drawing. LOL. Something which would've taken me much longer. Tell me it looks like one of those Hallmark birthday cards.

And I thought, is this even possible using Facebook Graffiti?

My own product

You can run but you can't hide wrinkles~

I also received a growing gift from Monica (which turned out to be a strawberry!) and a free gift from Dan Ru courtesy of Facebook. Technology comes in handy when you're far far away dunnit? :D

On the big day itself I had to attend a Red Cross volunteer session. But the surprises kept coming.

Pei Sze (in Tasmania) who again, employed services of boyfriend Cheng Loong to send me another slice from Brunetti's and a card :D

From Emily and Mann Chii :P who know my favourite things :D

The long-awaited wallet from Chand since my last one was stolen October 2006 :P

Puppy and toiletries compliments from Rosanne and Mel :)

Chockies from Siew Joo! LOL.. Oh my stomach.. don't know whether to laugh or cry.. :P

Photoframe, much needed highlighters and notebook from Colin :)

Angels of Aceh from Sabrina :)

The days after....

Bracelets and pendants from Sneha :D My favourite is the brown one with

little buddha cravings

Top and the prettiest box ever from Iris, another dear old friend who never forgets :)

huggies for you dear.. :) I miss our "bookie" chats :P

Many many thanks to the following for all your wishes :) You make me realize how lucky I am every year..

Colin, August, Phoebe, Chunny, Donkey, Fen, Hwan, Vera (despite travelling up to Brunei), Juk (for your e card :D ), Ian, Bel, Qijian, Emily, Li Kun, Meng Yee, Chun Ping, Shinny (the long email despite busy moving to London), Iris, Mabel, Zhungyi (the call despite overwhelmed with work), Barry, Pei Sze, Yaow, Cheng Loong, Tsu Ann, Cindy, Sabrina, Rosanne, Melissa, Mann Chii, Siew Joo, Ayumi, Jingting, Betty, Kim, Yen Khai, Sneha, Lynn, Vanessa, Andy, Chai Lim, Chloe, Cassandra, Yuang Teck, Jeslyn, Jimmy, Han Sze, Rudi, Dan Ru, Evelyn, Doris, Regine, Rudi, Doris, Fyin, Geok Poh, Siaw Lan, Jack, Si Ying, May-Lin, Joanna, Monica, David Tay, Sue Ann..

Hope I didn't miss anyone out~

Helen, wishing you happy 22nd birthday and may happiness and good health be with you for many many more years to come.. love always, Daddy, Mommy and Albert..

Just Cuts

The second time I ever let my hair grow so long, it has to be 15 years after the previous attempt, of which I had nothing to do with. My mom loved playing with my hair. To commemarate the event (and because I'm bored), I figured some pictures are in order.

Excuse the sleepy look.

The place I went is called Just Cuts; located at Train station level Melbourne Central. Just Cuts - they guarantee to do justice to your hair and if you're not satisfied, there's a 7 day guarantee period when you can go back and they'll "gladly help you", whatever that means. Well, I must say I'm pretty satisfied with my hair cut :) It's like nothing I've had before and my head feels lighter already, or has my head shrunk to its normal size? :)

Happier, and certainly more alert :D

Then I thought................

-.-"

Akin the Snape-like curls, only longer

I can only scream at one woman..

And she'd scream right back at me.. I can only get away with muttering obsecenities at one woman, and she'll still feed me. Heck, I can even make this woman cry and not speak to her for days, and she'll still love me.

This.. ladies and gentlemen.. is my mom. And this is how you'll usually find her at home. Top secret stuff! She never appears like this in front of an audience. Bad for her image apparently. But this is how I like her best. No makeup, hair up, "home" clothes and a lovely smell.

The food helps too!

She's the one responsible for my well-being. All the tears, self-consciousness and scrutiny stems from this woman. That's what mothers are for.

"Wahhhhhhh....... why so fat?"

Never fails everytime I come home.

"Don't come back fat fat ah..."

Never fails everytime I leave.

But hey, that's what mothers are for.

My mom is a small kampung gal. This life she knows and thrives in is one of cooking, baking and housework. She's simple-minded and perfectly contented running the house and feeding 4 mouths. This is how I got all the extra weight..

She's has a wicked list of recipes! She makes all the cakes and cookies for CNY. She invites her friends for lunch and dinner. She's 46 but she dances her butt away every weekened~

Ever wonder where I get that loud neverending building-shaking laughter? No one and I repeat, NO ONE, laughs louder than my mom at any occasion. Except maybe my sister. But then again, that's where we get that from. This is also why all my jokes are lame. My mom laughs at anything - everything.

Formal occasions make her uncomfortable. But then, my dad strives in that world and so my mom tries. She has been, for her entire life and we don't make it easy for her. She has no idea how to use a handphone, she doesn't know what an iPod is AND she had a very hard time trying to learn how to work a DVD player. My mom is full of surprises though. For the tech-super noob she is, she drives a mean stick. Because of her sharp reflexes, she saved my brother's life once when they were sent spinning during a car accident. My mom manouvered them to safety, stepped on the gas pedal and chased down the idiot who did it to them. Yeap, she's a fiesty one!

Yes mammi, I remember the tears, the screaming matches and the moments when we were just downright rude to each other. But I also remember your laugh, your warm hands and your generous and simple soul. If people see me as a giving person, it's only because I have you and dad as role models in that department. If people see me as a cheerful and charming person, it's all because of your ability to laugh during hard times and make people laugh with you.

Happy International Women's Day!

A bit of history as resourced from http://www.internationalwomensday.com


ABOUT INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY

International Women's Day has been observed since in the early 1900's, a time of great expansion and turbulence in the industrialized world that saw booming population growth and the rise of radical ideologies.

1908 - Great unrest and critical debate was occurring amongst women. Women's oppression and inequality was spurring women to become more vocal and active in campaigning for change. Then in 1908, 15,000 women marched through New York City demanding shorter hours, better pay and voting rights.

1909 - In accordance with a declaration by the Socialist Party of America, the first National Woman's Day (NWD) was observed across the United States on 28 February. Women continued to celebrate NWD on the last Sunday of February until 1913.

1910 - At a Socialist International meeting in Copenhagen, an International Women's Day of no fixed date was proposed to honour the women's rights movement and to assist in achieving universal suffrage for women. Over 100 women from 17 countries unanimously agreed the proposal. 3 of these women were later elected the first women to the Finnish parliament.

1911 - Following the decision agreed at Copenhagen in 1911, International Women's Day (IWD) was honoured the first time in Austria, Denmark, Germany and Switzerland on 19 March. More than one million women and men attended IWD rallies campaigning for women's rights to work, vote, be trained, to hold public office and end discrimination. However less than a week later on 25 March, the tragic 'Triangle Fire' in New York City took the lives of more than 140 working women, most of them Italian and Jewish immigrants. This disastrous event drew significant attention to working conditions and labour legislation in the United States that became a focus of subsequent International Women's Day events. 1911 also saw women's 'Bread and Roses' campaign.

1913-1914 - On the eve of World War I campaigning for peace, Russian women observed their first International Women's Day on the last Sunday in February 1913. In 1914 further women across Europe held rallies to campaign against the war and to express women's solidarity.

1917 - On the last Sunday of February, Russian women began a strike for "bread and peace" in response to the death over 2 million Russian soldiers in war. Opposed by political leaders the women continued to strike until four days later the Czar was forced to abdicate and the provisional Government granted women the right to vote. The date the women's strike commenced was Sunday 23 February on the Julian calendar then in use in Russia. This day on the Gregorian calendar in use elsewhere was 8 March.

1918 - 1999 - Since its birth in the socialist movement, International Women's Day has grown to become a global day of recognition and celebration across developed and developing countries alike. For decades, IWD has grown from strength to strength annually. For many years the United Nations has held an annual IWD conference to coordinate international efforts for women's rights and participation in social, political and economic processes. 1975 was designated as 'International Women’s Year' by the United Nations. Women's organisations and governments around the world have also observed IWD annually on 8 March by holding large-scale events that honour women's advancement and while diligently reminding of the continued vigilance and action required to ensure that women's equality is gained and maintained in all aspects of life.

2000 - 2007 - IWD is now an official holiday in Armenia, Russia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Bulgaria, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Macedonia, Moldova, Mongolia, Tajikistan, Ukraine, Uzbekistan and Vietnam. The tradition sees men honouring their mothers, wives, girlfriends, colleagues, etc with flowers and small gifts. In some countries IWD has the equivalent status of Mother's Day where children give small presents to their mothers and grandmothers.

The new millennium has witnessed a significant change and attitudinal shift in both women's and society's thoughts about women's equality and emancipation. Many from a younger generation feel that 'all the battles have been won for women' while many feminists from the 1970's know only too well the longevity and ingrained complexity of patriarchy. With more women in the boardroom, greater equality in legislative rights, and an increased critical mass of women's visibility as impressive role models in every aspect of life, one could think that women have gained true equality.

The unfortunate fact is that women are still not paid equally to that of their male counterparts, women still are not present in equal numbers in business or politics, and globally women's education, health and the violence against them is worse than that of men.However, great improvements have been made. We do have female astronauts and prime ministers, school girls are welcomed into university, women can work and have a family, women have real choices. And so the tone and nature of IWD has, for the past few years, moved from being a reminder about the negatives to a celebration of the positives.

Annually on 8 March, thousands of events are held throughout the world to inspire women and celebrate their achievements. While there are many large-scale initiatives, a rich and diverse fabric of local activity connects women from all around the world ranging from political rallies, business conferences, government activities and networking events through to local women's craft markets, theatric performances, fashion parades and more.

Many global corporations have also started to more actively support IWD by running their own internal events and through supporting external ones. For example, on 8 March search engine and media giant Google even changes its logo on its global search pages. Corporations like HSBC host the UK's largest and longest running IWD event delivered by women's company Aurora. Last year Nortel sponsored IWD activities in over 20 countries and thousands of women participated. Nortel continues to connect its global workforce though a coordinated program of high-level IWD activity, as does Accenture both virtually and offline. Accenture supports more than 2,000 of its employees to participate in its International Women's Day activities that include leadership development sessions, career workshops and corporate citizenship events held across six continents - in eight cities in the United States and in Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Germany, India, Ireland, Italy, Japan, Spain, South Africa and the UK. Accenture also coordinated am IWD webcast featuring stories about Accenture women worldwide that ran uninterrupted for 30 hours across 11 time zones via Accenture's intranet. Year on year IWD is certainly increasing in status. The United States even designates the whole month of March as 'Women's History Month'.
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I don't think Malaysia celebrates such a day. My psych assessment lecturer, Dr. Roger Cook was joking today, at least I hope he was - Men let women have this day to themselves, the remaining 364 serve as adequate compensation! -.-"

He'd better be joking.

Women have come a long way indeed. Somehow we are never equal though. Ladies, no matter how independent or strong they are, need men to a certain extent. I'm sure, men need ladies in certain respects too. So it's fair and square. After all, we weren't made Men and Women for no reason at all other than to compliment the other. :)

Happy International Women's Day!

Happy St Valentine's!

Not the most appropriate thing, but the best Heart I could find on such short notice.

As per usual, this day every year we celebrate the art of commercialization.

I have to say, I pity all the guys out there who feel the need to make their wives/girlfriends happy on this day, OR ELSE!

Aren't there other special occasions more appropriate to celebrate your love for one another? Why not your anniversary? Heh.. Valentine's is sort of a convenience otherwise in this aspect. There's about 20% chance the guy will forget Valentine's Day but I'd say about 80% chance he forgets the anniversary, and 40% the birthday. Ouch! Heh.. percentages dodgy, but more or less so, would you agree? That's why Valentine's is such a big deal! :P If you forgot Valentine's, highly likely you'll forget the rest.

My friends and I (when most of us were single) used to celebrate Valentine's together. Hahaha.. it's become a tradition. So that we wouldn't be alone on this oh sad and painful day? Nope. It's a celebration of love and love is what we share as friends. This year's meet will be relatively small. Yeap.. most of us have come a long way... found ourselves partners and such.. :)

*Interrupted with terrible news*

Qijian's aunt unfortunately met with ruthless robbers at their shop and was murdered. Why do people resort to such measures? Especially during this festive season too... My deepest condolences to you my friend. This tells us how dangerous this world is.. take care my friends..

Christmas

Christmas Christmas.. Merry Christmas..

Ok. I know it's Boxing Day, but what the heck :P This is gonna be my Christmas post.

Interesting Christmas it was. Has everyone been to the new Boulevard Restaurant? When it was in.. well.. the Boulevard area, we used to go there every once in a while. Good food, good place. No complaints. The new place? Hmph. Never ever have the unlimited lunch. We were headed there for dimsum that morning (I woke up at 11.45am, morning no? :P) but decided (big mistake) to try the unlimited.

It's
A
Scam!

Service is slow, rude managers, not all foods are available and the most annoying thing was that they never bothered to inform us. We were waiting for half an hour for the last three dishes to arrive. They never did! It was the first time the whole family blew up! And it was the first time I loved blowing up :D Argumentative captain who was 1) unapologetic (which was ok at first) and then he got 2) rude. Geez.. nobody invokes customers' rights here?

What pathetic excuse was "Oh, we don't have duck, fish or deer"?

And after two hours you couldn't tell us that?! The "unlimited lunch" was basically unlimited veges. -.-" The meat, had conveniently disappeared. Spending 18 ringgit each eating veges?! Might as well go home and plant some. Heh.. It was like a diet conspiracy at hand.

Phew. Blowing off that steam was fun. :) Now, fast forward to the evening.

Zhungyi'd invited me to a Christmas gathering at his place. Truth be told, I was reluctant to go at first. Why?
1) Didn't know anyone there
2) Self-conscious
3) Self-conscious
4) Self-conscious

You get the idea :P
I presented this problem to Fen. Oh boy.. "Fresh graduate, self-conscious?" I actually wrote social phobia in my msn personal msg box, but the words were essentially something like that. Sigh. When am I allowed to be human? Graduate or not graduate.

Well, in the end I thought I'd better go. After all, it'd be rude to excuse myself for such a lame reason. Not going because I was AFRAID was pathetic. I just thought I'd better get over it, suck it up and go before I let my fears run amok. If I let this happen once, it's bound to happen again and again. Before I know it, I'd really end up with social phobia.

And so I went. Got lost on the way. How in the whole wide watermelon world (it's just Pujut really, but the world sounds better) did I end up in Pujut 1C instead of Pujut 2C?
1) Poor light
2) Lousy navigation skills
3) Distorted memory
4) Total lameness etc

Finally got there after gathering my bearings. Woah.. the moment I stepped in. This here is Auntie A, B, C, D, E, F, G and H. The only elders I remember from last night were Zhungyi's parents of course, Zhungyi's grandma, this colleague of my dad's named Whim Balen (sp?), their church's pastor (more about him in a sec) as well as Auntie Pictionary (she remembered my name and all I remember is her drawing skills and our somewhat telepathic connection).

I guess the main point was to meet Nicole, Zhungyi's girlfriend. And yeap, I finally met her. Can't say I gathered a lot about her personality, but as far as first impressions go - nice gal, a little quiet, looks like she could be wild (in a good way) at times, smart no doubt, soft-spoken and soft-hearted. What surprised me was her size. She looks smaller than I expected. But of course, touche :) I must've looked bigger than she imagined. LOL. Doesn't take a mind reader to detect that. Funny, I did not realize her siblings were her siblings until the end when they got into the same car. Did not even realize her parents were her parents. They all look very different!

Another unexpected bit. Other than me, Chaw Meng was the only other friend Zhungyi invited from outside church. Very surprised. Or maybe his other friends were not in Miri or they just couldn't come. Hmmm.. Some afterthoughts: I'm touched that he asked.

The night turned out to be interesting if not a little awkward at first. When I arrived, a group of people were playing scrabble. Under Zhungyi's orders to "Socialize!," I observed as they played. Interesting that they made up wacky stories as the words were formed. :) They must have lots of practice, these people were really good. In particular this guy named Terrence.

Then came the best part. The food. Just kidding :P But it WAS spectacular. The last time I'd seen a proper Christmas dinner was when we went to Rachel's Christmas Party. I think I was about 10. The table was laden with the works - turkey, ham, pasta, lamb, mash potatoes, salad, gravy, mushrooms, broccoli.

There I was, going for my first round (which turned out to be my only round) and the pastor (I feel like I should put 'P' in caps) started a pretty interesting conversation. It's my first time talking to a pastor. Don't know why, I felt like I had to behave. LOL! Of all things we started a discussion about self-esteem and self-acceptance. I know for a fact that generally (as far as the normal distribution allows) people who have some form of faith (not necessarily religious faith although the majority stands for it) have higher self-esteem. This is not surprising. Makes perfect sense doesn't it? But what is more interesting is, the fraction of people who don't have religion describe their source of self-esteem as a form of purpose. What is this purpose?

Measurement-wise, how do you measure self-esteem? It is based on how experimenters define self-esteem. But how about what people (general public) see as self-esteem? There's bound to be infinite definition. There's the question of dimensions too. I'm pretty sure most people fall in the middle of the line, and certainly, just as there are those who have very low self-esteem thus suicide, depression and the likes, there must also be those who have unwavering self-esteem. We know what feeds to low self-esteem, should we perhaps we exploring what makes high self-esteem and somehow put this piece of information to good use? Being proactive instead of preventive. I think that's important for psychology too.

The night ended with a game of pictionary. There was this little boy playing on the piano by rote. I think he was about 4 or 5. Then there was this not so little boy zonking out on the couch after a few glasses of wine.

Merry Christmas everyone!
It's time to think of New Year resolutions.

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Let's have a moment's silence in remembrance of the 2004 Tsunami victims and their families.