When the going gets tough....

I'm not getting anywhere!

Well.. I'm making SOME progress I guess..

I've not been blogging lately because there's too much to do and too many things to stress about. If I'd blogged everyday for the past week, it has to be one hell of a stressed blog log. I decided I didn't want to read back on my posts one day and see a record of such depressing stuff. So yea, no go.

Busy?

Yes, very.

My supervisor is a really really nice guy. He's from Melb Uni as well, he's young, he's helpful, he's enthusiastic, he's resourceful. Are you sensing a BUT in there somewhere? Well.. he is PERHAPS a little too enthusiastic. No problem with that under normal circumstances, but this moving house thing is driving me crazy. The "unavoidable circumstances" just keep coming. First it's the property delay then now there's a phone line problem which is just as worse. Come on, what do all research students need most? Research papers! And where to get them? ONLINE!

No phone line = No Internet

Ok. Like I said, no extensive record on bad stuff. I just want the phone line fixed!

Otherwise, Ben is the supervisor I wished for. He keeps me on track, gives me a lot of resources and handy tips. The most important thing is, he makes me believe that I know what I'm doing. Which I probably am but just doesn't feel like it these days. He gives me things to do each week to the extent that we are three weeks ahead of schedule on the list of things we need to do for the research. For the past hour I've practically filled in 80% of the ethics application which needs to be filed two weeks from now. Tonight's work will be re-drafting the proposal and going into depth on some of the literature. Over the weekend I could fiddle more with the GNAT program and figure out a solid design for our experiment.

Gosh, I can't believe I have yet to explain what my research is about in detail. I suppose I could always post up my thesis proposal when I finalize it tonight.

At the mean time.. I need to make sure I can get online next week :/ good luck to that!

Am I getting anywhere? I sure hope so.

When relaxed and laidback is just plain lazy!

As an attempt to be rid of Arrow's poor management and after tolerating with them for four years, we've decided to move to Milano only to realize that it's not the "management" problem, it's the attitude problem.

I know kiasuness needs to be taken down a notch or two, but I just can't bear the work ethic in this country!!!!!!!!

!#$%^$%^!$%&$#%^*^&**

Relaxed + laidback = lazy.

Where does this deduction come from?

We were suppose to move in on the 20th, which was on Tuesday. I got a call on Friday morning telling me that there will be a delay because they need to run "safety checks" on the newly-built property and therfore, the move in date had to be changed to 24th which is this coming Saturday. I said ok, these things happen. Can't be helped. HOWEVER, just today, I was informed that they were expecting another delay, till 10th April no less. The thing is, after a long argument, and ONE phone call (according to the man himself), he said it would be ok for me to pick up the keys on Saturday morning and move in.

So why couldn't he have made that call in the first place and prevent this so-called "delay"? It just shows what excuses can do most of the time and also how you can't let people push you around just for the sake of their own laziness!

Maybe it's the pressure from the thesis proposal and the regression assignment on top of GRE and having to move as well, I just completely brokedown. Well, in my bedroom that is, not publically. What the heck you know? It's not like anyone reads this blog.

I told the bloody agent it was not acceptable. Really, it's the first in a long time since I'd exploded like that. I remember in primary school, I'd scream at anyone who pissed me off. When I got to secondary school, I tried to harness my temper and keep conflicts low. Maybe all the years of pent up frustration just erupted in me today. I'm just surprised I didn't claw the man's eyes out. Not even Peter, the incompetent manager of Arrow elicited such a response.

Have I really learned how to control my temper? Do I really know how to handle stress any better than I did three years ago?

Maybe I'm just deluded. I'd said I learnt a lot last year, but at times like these I felt as if all that I've acquired is false. I should be able to deal with this in a calm manner right?

Apparently not.

I thought I was past worrying. But I guess it's in my nature. Now I can't settle my mind till I really get the keys on Saturday morning. Oh help.. my head is about to burst.....

My Third Time

Tagged by Sabrina

LAYER 1 : ON THE OUTSIDE

Name : Su Chien Ya
Birth Date : August 7
Current Status : Free
Eye Colour : Brown
Hair Colour : Black, brown, white, silver(?)
Righty or lefty : righty

LAYER 2 : ON THE INSIDE

My Heritage : 100% chinese
My Fears : height
My Weaknesses : tears, people with problems
My Perfect Pizza : err.. any old thing will do.. no olives!

LAYER 3 : YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW

My thoughts first waking up : what time is it?
My bedtime : anytime after 2
My most missed memory : singing in my car with friends

LAYER 4 : MY PICK

Pepsi or coke: Coke
McDonald's or Burger king : McD
Single or grouped dates : Nada
Adidas or Nike : Nike
Tea or Nestea : Tea
Chocolate or Vanilla : Can't decide
Cappuccino or Coffee : taste the same to me

LAYER 5 : DO YOU..
Smoke : nope
Curse : once in a blue moon :)
Take a shower : Yes?
Have a crush : Nope, for the first time in my post-child life
Think you've been in love : yes, remotely
Go to school : Errrrrrr... I'm a student?
Want to get married : Not contemplating atm
Believe in yourself : sometimes :)
Think your a health freak : I go to gym?

LAYER 6 : IN THE PAST
Drank alcohol : yes, catastrophic
Gone to the mall : yes, the only acceptable thing to do back then was mall-hopping
Been on stage : yes
Eaten sushi : yes
Dyed your hair : yes

LAYER 7 : HAVE YOU EVER...

Played a stripping game : nope
Changed who you were to fit in : I either fit in or I don't.. such change is only a temporary facade

LAYER 8 : AGE YOU'RE HOPING..
To be married : Err.. when I get a steady income.. who knows when that'll be..

LAYER 9 : IN A GUY..
Best eye colour : anything
Best hair colour : nothing too radical
Short hair or long hair : no. long. hair.

LAYER 10 : WHAT WERE YOU DOING...
A minute ago : reading up on multiple regression
Hour ago : reading up on multiple regression
1 month ago : reading up on m.. just kidding. watching heroes at the dining table at home..
Year ago : rotting away in my room because class doesnt start for another week

LAYER 11 : FINISH THE SENTENCES..
I love : myself, family, friends and books :)
I feel : tired and burnt
I hate : nothing, dislike several things.
I hide : my heart
I miss : my old uni life
I need : to buck up and stop being unproductive!

LAYER 12 : TAG 5 PEOPLE

I think I'll just skip this. I'm sure people have other things to do.

When sitting becomes a competition...

....you know the world has gone crazy. It used to be a harmless game of musical chairs and that teddy bear prize at the end.

The wife who forgives her adulterous husband for screwing (excuse me) her over three times.

The single mom who becomes possesive of her only son who wants to date a high school graduate.

The filial son who underwent a personality transformation and stabs his high-flying parents one night.

All these drama-like scenarios are very real. All that that were aberrant to traditions have become the norm. Cultures are moved by waves of revolution and dynamic metamorphosis - amalgamating and assimilating as times change; ejecting and leaving behind anachronistic ways.

Everything that were impossible, are now possible. And that is why seats are now becoming objects of competition; divestiture in the form of ridding the weaker - a new break-neck pace of evolution.

Why oh why oh why won't we ever stop?

As a slow and cautious driver, I hardly ever hit the speed limit and all these changes have become a race which I unwillingly steer my way through. I can't keep up!

I like to move in a slow and leisurely pace and this global obsession to accelerate into a foggy illusion of seemingly neverending achievement and success is too much for me. I try to progress along the quieter roads but the fast lanes are tempting. However, when I so much as overtake that vehicle in front, I'm left in someone else's dust within seconds.

Today on the tram, I heard this:

"Oh my god! Can you believe it, she's sitting down! How did she get a seat?!"

Errrr.. ok. So clue me in here. Is she not suppose to sit down? Or more like, are we all suppose to stand?

Is this as confusing to me as to everyone else?

That's why I always wear a seatbelt. The next thing you know, people'll start yanking you off your seat in this wild chase. And funny thing is, it's probably gonna be condoned by society and nobody'll give a second glance at how the leaves of the roadside trees are drying up in the crisp air.

Muzik

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are compassionate, caring, and soothing.You like other people to depend on you...In fact, you don't feel right unless you are helping someone out. Underneath it all, you feel the burden of everyone's problems.Without your guidance, you fear that many people's worlds would fall apart.You like to feel in charge, even if it brings you a lot of stress.

What's" the Part of You That No One Sees?

All fun.. nothing serious today~~

http://www,youtube.com/watch?v=2wZCoeq9Ppc

I was watching this clip and downloaded the sheet music off their website. Any flautists interested in doing a duet? Let me know.. :) Should be fun..

Here's a funky version of it with SPIT and all.. It's quite impressive but I felt a bit breathless after watching it..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crfrKqFp0Zg

Arent you glad you're watching from youtube? They probably had to cancel out the first few rows of the concert hall when this dude plays..

Here's one of the weird things people do in college too :P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LC1ArNmQ7zI

Cheers~ :)

Lack of motivation

Motivation schmotivation

Is this what they call burnout?

I'm so... LAZY..

ARGH

Wake up Helen! WAKE. UP.

Sasha Cohen

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_nA43Pm6eA

For all lovers of art and beauty, this is a must watch.

This girl, though not the best - that would be Michelle Kwan, is absolutely wonderful to watch. I've recently developed an interest for this technically difficult and artistic sport of figure skating courtesy of Walt Disney's "Ice Princess".

There are better displays of exquisite movement found elsewhere, but I love this clip coz... well, this is one of my favourite songs :D Celine Dion - To Love You More.

Sasha Cohen has effortless execution and her expressions just leap off the ice (seriously). This is definitely worth 4 minutes of your time :)

I'm so typical..

Oh wait.. you mean.. you didn't know that?

Ha-Ha, very funny.

We're all inclined to feel that we're special in one way or the other. Oh ok. Maybe not ALL of us, but mostly. Would you agree?

Self-enhancement
Better-than-average
Egocentricism

It's some deluded sense of self to boost our feeling of worth.

Today I was in Borders. AGAIN. Fourth day. Everyday since Friday, I've been in Borders for the entire afternoon. And if that's not typical enough. Regular cafe latte without fail. Book without fail. GRE-ing without fail. Don't kid me. This isn't discipline. This is called "Having nothing better to do!"

That's how typical my life is these days.

Well, considering that I'll be sitting for GRE on the 28th of April, it's what I should be doing. I wish it were this clear cut for my thesis though. I feel like I'm still on holiday.

Speaking of holidays, I officially detest Labour Day. Well, this year at least. It's so inconvenient. Frustration levels at the maximum, why do they even need Labour Day here?! 11-to-5 hours not enough of a holiday?! Give it a break!

I went to Milano to gather the necessary details to get a bank cheque to pay the upcoming rent. Holiday, 12th AND 13th March. -.-" Like one day isn't enough. And then, stupidly, carrying some large sum of money in my wallet, I strolled to the bank, only to find it closed as well.

Zoning out in Borders is not a regular thing, but when I woke up, it was 4pm already. I thought I should get a coffee so that I would last the night.

Cafe latte, received at 4.15pm.

Scorched myself trying to get it down while packing up my stuff and getting to Fitness First.

ONLY....

to find that group fitness classes have been cancelled for the day because the instructors are on Labour Day BREAK!

!@$#$@#@#%#@%

Yeah. That was the last straw -.-"

The highlight of the day was meeting Yen Min as I was exiting Melbourne Central. We stood there for an hour just talking. Funny how you can talk to some people for hours and some others you just don't know what to say at all. Yen Min and I haven't been close during the time of CMG's production. Anyhow, she's been one of the few people who I can have a decent conversation with without wanting to leave.

It's always good to see a friendly face.

Happy International Women's Day!

A bit of history as resourced from http://www.internationalwomensday.com


ABOUT INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY

International Women's Day has been observed since in the early 1900's, a time of great expansion and turbulence in the industrialized world that saw booming population growth and the rise of radical ideologies.

1908 - Great unrest and critical debate was occurring amongst women. Women's oppression and inequality was spurring women to become more vocal and active in campaigning for change. Then in 1908, 15,000 women marched through New York City demanding shorter hours, better pay and voting rights.

1909 - In accordance with a declaration by the Socialist Party of America, the first National Woman's Day (NWD) was observed across the United States on 28 February. Women continued to celebrate NWD on the last Sunday of February until 1913.

1910 - At a Socialist International meeting in Copenhagen, an International Women's Day of no fixed date was proposed to honour the women's rights movement and to assist in achieving universal suffrage for women. Over 100 women from 17 countries unanimously agreed the proposal. 3 of these women were later elected the first women to the Finnish parliament.

1911 - Following the decision agreed at Copenhagen in 1911, International Women's Day (IWD) was honoured the first time in Austria, Denmark, Germany and Switzerland on 19 March. More than one million women and men attended IWD rallies campaigning for women's rights to work, vote, be trained, to hold public office and end discrimination. However less than a week later on 25 March, the tragic 'Triangle Fire' in New York City took the lives of more than 140 working women, most of them Italian and Jewish immigrants. This disastrous event drew significant attention to working conditions and labour legislation in the United States that became a focus of subsequent International Women's Day events. 1911 also saw women's 'Bread and Roses' campaign.

1913-1914 - On the eve of World War I campaigning for peace, Russian women observed their first International Women's Day on the last Sunday in February 1913. In 1914 further women across Europe held rallies to campaign against the war and to express women's solidarity.

1917 - On the last Sunday of February, Russian women began a strike for "bread and peace" in response to the death over 2 million Russian soldiers in war. Opposed by political leaders the women continued to strike until four days later the Czar was forced to abdicate and the provisional Government granted women the right to vote. The date the women's strike commenced was Sunday 23 February on the Julian calendar then in use in Russia. This day on the Gregorian calendar in use elsewhere was 8 March.

1918 - 1999 - Since its birth in the socialist movement, International Women's Day has grown to become a global day of recognition and celebration across developed and developing countries alike. For decades, IWD has grown from strength to strength annually. For many years the United Nations has held an annual IWD conference to coordinate international efforts for women's rights and participation in social, political and economic processes. 1975 was designated as 'International Women’s Year' by the United Nations. Women's organisations and governments around the world have also observed IWD annually on 8 March by holding large-scale events that honour women's advancement and while diligently reminding of the continued vigilance and action required to ensure that women's equality is gained and maintained in all aspects of life.

2000 - 2007 - IWD is now an official holiday in Armenia, Russia, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Bulgaria, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Macedonia, Moldova, Mongolia, Tajikistan, Ukraine, Uzbekistan and Vietnam. The tradition sees men honouring their mothers, wives, girlfriends, colleagues, etc with flowers and small gifts. In some countries IWD has the equivalent status of Mother's Day where children give small presents to their mothers and grandmothers.

The new millennium has witnessed a significant change and attitudinal shift in both women's and society's thoughts about women's equality and emancipation. Many from a younger generation feel that 'all the battles have been won for women' while many feminists from the 1970's know only too well the longevity and ingrained complexity of patriarchy. With more women in the boardroom, greater equality in legislative rights, and an increased critical mass of women's visibility as impressive role models in every aspect of life, one could think that women have gained true equality.

The unfortunate fact is that women are still not paid equally to that of their male counterparts, women still are not present in equal numbers in business or politics, and globally women's education, health and the violence against them is worse than that of men.However, great improvements have been made. We do have female astronauts and prime ministers, school girls are welcomed into university, women can work and have a family, women have real choices. And so the tone and nature of IWD has, for the past few years, moved from being a reminder about the negatives to a celebration of the positives.

Annually on 8 March, thousands of events are held throughout the world to inspire women and celebrate their achievements. While there are many large-scale initiatives, a rich and diverse fabric of local activity connects women from all around the world ranging from political rallies, business conferences, government activities and networking events through to local women's craft markets, theatric performances, fashion parades and more.

Many global corporations have also started to more actively support IWD by running their own internal events and through supporting external ones. For example, on 8 March search engine and media giant Google even changes its logo on its global search pages. Corporations like HSBC host the UK's largest and longest running IWD event delivered by women's company Aurora. Last year Nortel sponsored IWD activities in over 20 countries and thousands of women participated. Nortel continues to connect its global workforce though a coordinated program of high-level IWD activity, as does Accenture both virtually and offline. Accenture supports more than 2,000 of its employees to participate in its International Women's Day activities that include leadership development sessions, career workshops and corporate citizenship events held across six continents - in eight cities in the United States and in Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Germany, India, Ireland, Italy, Japan, Spain, South Africa and the UK. Accenture also coordinated am IWD webcast featuring stories about Accenture women worldwide that ran uninterrupted for 30 hours across 11 time zones via Accenture's intranet. Year on year IWD is certainly increasing in status. The United States even designates the whole month of March as 'Women's History Month'.
-------------------------------------------------------------

I don't think Malaysia celebrates such a day. My psych assessment lecturer, Dr. Roger Cook was joking today, at least I hope he was - Men let women have this day to themselves, the remaining 364 serve as adequate compensation! -.-"

He'd better be joking.

Women have come a long way indeed. Somehow we are never equal though. Ladies, no matter how independent or strong they are, need men to a certain extent. I'm sure, men need ladies in certain respects too. So it's fair and square. After all, we weren't made Men and Women for no reason at all other than to compliment the other. :)

Happy International Women's Day!

Flurry..

I went to the new Body Jam launch today. At 7.30. PM. Late class. Lots of people.

There's something funny about listening to two guys whispering sweet nothings to each other. I can't really describe it. Especially when I could practically hear everything they were saying.

"If a girl looked at my boyfriend like that I would get really pissed."

Woah.

Ok. Scenario noted. Anyone else feel this way? A little more thinking, a little less looking.

This was why I dare not turn to look at them.

One of them ended up joining the class as well, but only after a big smacker from the boyfriend before entering.

Today's workout was totally whacked!! Both Natalie and Paul were there just to make sure we weren't going to kill each other over space. Ok, maybe not. But centre stage was crawling with people. I had no idea so many people could fit into such a small space. I wandered off a little from the back to the left side of things. As there was a huge pillar blocking my vision, I had a pretty big piece of floor to my dispense. The trick is to know the class and imitate the "experts" - there's this girl who has "cheerleader" written all over her. It's impossible to see the instructors with so many feet covering your view; student alternatives are the better choice on the crowded dance floor.

The tempo's really fast. What a mix of latin, country and krumping! Yes, we learned to krump. Only, after getting the intense choreography, I had hardly any energy left to "krump" therefore being rather half-hearted after that. I suppose it helps if I'm angry. But no reason to be angry today. Besides, that would give Chand more reason to pull off my white hairs one by one like what she did during Yan Yao's housewarming.

Bear with me, I'm talking at random here.

Yan Yao and family moved a tad bit further from where they used to stay, which is actually very far in the first place. Glen Waverley itself. Funny us. Tsu Ann, Chandra, Natasha, Huey Koon and I boarded the train at 11 and arrived at Yan Yao's place at 1pm. Why is that? Because we caught the wrong bus at the train station! 5 people, and we all got it wrong. Ended up making a loop on the bus, causing some sleepiness and nausea (in my case) on the way. I looked out the window and saw..... MONASH!

We were clearly lost. We ended up at a place at the beginning of Zone 2 when we were suppose to be at the other end of the world (not quite, but you get the idea). After some frantic discussion and a bewildered bus driver, Lonsdale Crescent did not exist! Quite appropriate, coz it's actually called LANsdale Crescent -.-"

When we finally arrived (15 minutes walk from Knox City?), woah! it was "Wasp"land.

1) They are carnivorous. Don't worry, no one got eaten.
2) They dont die.

There were heaps of them! Having a barbeque pit and lots of fruit (plus mango cake) did not help. We settled down (after introductions to Yan Yao's ed. friends) to a somewhat fidgety lunch as Natasha, Chand and Huey Koon had bad cases of Wasphobia. For some reason, those things wouldn't stop pestering them!

After a few interrupted moments, we decided to retire into the lounge room. There were two sides really - one with very comfy chairs (we nearly fell asleep - I tried but Chand wouldn't let me!) and the other with really nice carpet (real soft to the feet) and interior design. There were actually 4 lion heads displayed around the house. Err.. By lion heads I mean the lion dance ones, not Safari-Africa kinds. And no, I did not bring my camera! ARGH!

Here I go again.

Studying in Swinburne still feels a bit funny. I haven't really explored the place other than the BA, EN and LB building which by the way are the Business and Arts, Engineering North and Library building. Yeap, everything is abbreviated as opposed to the Baldwin Spencer, Copland and Russell Lowe which I'm so used to.

BUT, I still get to use the comp lab in Redmond Barry (here's another one) :P Annie has access.

My newer friends include Sneha, Vanessa and Lynn - all from Monash. I haven't really gotten to know them all that well yet but it was nice of them to invite me to join their study group - which I gladly accepted. Going it alone could prove disastrous in a new environment. We will be discussing the Multiple Regression assignment next week. I'm still quiet at this point, don't know what's taking me so long to come out of my shell.

The lecturers and tutors are pretty nice and helpful. Looks like my supervisor will be Dr. Williams (Ben). I'm still deciding on a "Humaness" project vs. a Music preference (personality) project.

Train rides to Swinburne are long sometimes. Was lucky to have caught two Expresses today - not too draggy. Read and studied for a bit at Borders and special ordered (shhhhhh..) a Libera CD for Qijian. Now all I have to do is get an address somehow.

Time for stats~
Tabachnick and Fidell - Data Screening.
Ciao!

Your PsychSource

Visit www.psychsource.blogspot.com for your psych sources.

LOL.
Really, it's just another website for me to remind myself of the psych stuff I learn and find interesting. At the moment there's only a post on Stats there. So yea.. Go ZzzzZzzz :P