Thinking about Writing

You know there are brilliant storytellers like Jeffrey Archer and writers like Jodi Picoult that make you cry all the time. There are so many "budding" writers out there, so what makes you think you're outstanding?

Hmm. I like writing. I don't know if I love it. If blogging constitutes as part of the art of "writing" then I guess I write frequently enough. Very early on I realize I don't have the makings of generating amazing-sounding prose. Then somewhere along the line I notice that no matter how hard I tried, I never could come up with a decent plot. By decent I mean something out of this world, something that has never been thought about before. So what am I good at really? You have to have some "special" talent to write, but surely there has to be something that makes you stand out if you want a book on the shelves?

Not that it's one of my big goals. But I guess I care enough to dream about it.

I think it was some time around the second year of uni, most probably during Marion's class when I discovered what I could work on as an amateur writer (beside my spelling and grammar, that is) - speech and thoughts, more specifically the human mind. Heck you know, I'm studying psychology, surely it'll work for me.

First year of uni creative writing told me I couldn't do poetry (granted the lack of vocab and my dead mind when it comes to playin' around with words) even if my life depended on it. <---- Immediate second problem, too many cliches due to reading confined to Enid Blyton and too many Sweet Valley books (which is just a longer way of saying, "I suck" at it).

Ah yes, what a shocker. I only started expanding the scope of my reading material when I got into university. Imagine how ecstatic I was when I found out about Harry Potter in Form 5. I know, you're going "Form 5? It was out ages ago!" If people remember, it was then the fourth book had just been published and that was when the hype started but back to the point - I wasn't really reading anything with interesting plots other than those from the likes of Secret Seven, Famous Five, Fear Street, Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys. All of which, by the way, are perfectly good reading material for young kids - no questions asked.

So while I was caught up with the lives of delightful blonde twins, my writing consisted of short-lived escapades and teenage lovesick woes. In fact, after the first creative writing class, I started questioning whether I was meant to be doing this or if it was even worth my time given the lack of talent. My tutor Courtney however, was very encouraging and continued to challenge me for the whole of first year. She insisted on writing about things which I could identify with, and this of course, she reprimanded, does not include flighty character imitations based on shallow identification with 12 year olds living in a world of impossible adventures. You see how endearing she was.

So I wrote about little Yuan who watched her general hero die on hangman's trap and her resentment towards her Communist boot-licking father who paid less attention to her than he did her younger brother. Then post-tsunami I identified Ying amongst the debris of her swept away village, watching the calm waters which hours ago had consumed her family and her childhood.

At the end of second year, under the guidance of Marion I began the journey of Azman who struggled to fit in with his people and yet finds himself unable to discard friendships with those of another race. It started off as an insert of simple thought in a situation of extreme social discrimination and segregation but as time (plus assignments, plus humans, plus life) caught up with me, I have yet to know where Azman is heading. A lot has happened to this country in a short period of time. What I set out to write two years ago may very well become true before I have the chance to finish it.

I can't spout decent poetry, I don't have Webster's implanted in my head, and I can't take wild fantasy rides to other worlds. But I reckon I know myself enough to trust that unmasking realistic trains of thoughts and detailed observation of human behaviour can work well for readers who want to identify with their literary heroes.

Now all there's left to do is actually start writing again.