1. Get a hose, run the tap and have it ready in hand. Shove your head down the toilet bowl (provided it fits), make sure the insertion is just right for your head to get stuck. Start drinking.
2. Hang upside down from the roof and let yourself fall.
3. Knock your head on every hard surface in the house starting with the wall and finishing with the garage floor.
4. Insert your head into the mailbox and clamp the gates shut on your neck while sliding it down the bars.
5. Sit yourself on a movable chair and wheel yourself down the stairs.
6. Squeeze yourself into a luggage and pay your brother to throw you down from the roof after three days. Short-cut Alternative : Get him to perform the split-person magic trick on the luggage.
7. Empty out your fish tank (eat the fish if you want) and chuck it on the floor. Please strip before you roll yourself on the glass.
8. Harness your chandelier, hang the kitchen knives on it and let go once you've positioned yourself directly underneath.
9. For a good workout, wash your bathroom floor, put on your skates and make sure your head is within proximity of a sharp edge.
10. Turn on the fan, run your fingers through the blades for 10 minutes at least. This should be done per finger to let it draw out as long as possible. As a last resort, there's always the apple peeler.
Slash my soul.. let it Bleed..
Tears salt... let it Sting..
Gorge my heart.. let it Break..
Stabbings pierce.. let it Die.
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